So this may come as a shock to some of you, but I keep falling more and more for the weather man. I know its weird huh? But we're still talking and I am really enjoying it. Z has been stupid and hardly ever talks to me which sometimes hurts and kills to no end. Mostly I dont understand why he cant grow a pair and tell me whats really on his mind. Its weird the whole process I've gone through with him.....I can say I wish I didnt start talking to him again and mean it when I say it. If I had known he would play stupid games Im pretty sure I wouldnt have pursued him so hard. Fact of the matter is, I still think there is another girl for him and he keeps leading on as if there isnt with me which is ridiculous. Im not sure why he thinks I want to be lead on ya know? And there are still things that bother me about him, theres never anything I can do to put him in a better mood, he doesnt open up very easily I have to dig and sometimes I dont want to dig, and there are others things Im not going to share because well because I dont feel like sharing it with the universe. Im debating texting him....yet again.....mostly because I cant decide if I need to talk to him to get closure (do I really want to feel the rejection of being left for another girl) and to see if I can get his real feelings out? But then again this could cause more damage and he could lead me on another stupid little game having me think he's more interested than he actually is. Ultimatley the weather man is more the type of person I would like to end up with I just wish he didnt live in another state. Not to mention he's fighting that fire in arizona right now and i wait in anticipation for his text every morning (he works the night shift) to know that he's safe. Not to mention had a dream I was pregnant with Z's kid and wanted it so badly to be the Weather Mans kid....I know it was just my dream, but as you know if youve been keeping up on the blog my dreams influence me a ton (which is how I got into the mess of talking to Z again). Well Im excited to see the weather man hopefully it will be soon, he's suppose to pass through town after he's done in arizona and im STOKED!!!!! there are 2 other guys.......creeper/2x4 and shorty. 2x4 is my creeper who had an "end the relationship" with me he still hangs around he's nice but Ive dated a guy exactly like him but worse he's 27 and stuck in his ways and I cant allow myself to date someone that would bring me down to nothing again and shorty is super nice, funny, has a lot of good qualities I would look for but.....he's short and I know thats me being ridiculous, but when your dad is 6'4" is 16 yr old brother will probably be taller than him and the weather man is 6'5" you realize you were spoiled and cant go back to short.....maybe I could but I care too much about the weather man at this point. Im anxiously awaiting his call today :)
Sorry for all the boy drama but I had to get it off my chest
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