Wednesday, June 22, 2011

" Boys are like busses, you wait for one for ages, then suddenly 3 come at the same time"

So this may come as a shock to some of you, but I keep falling more and more for the weather man. I know its weird huh? But we're still talking and I am really enjoying it. Z has been stupid and hardly ever talks to me which sometimes hurts and kills to no end. Mostly I dont understand why he cant grow a pair and tell me whats really on his mind. Its weird the whole process I've gone through with him.....I can say I wish I didnt start talking to him again and mean it when I say it. If I had known he would play stupid games Im pretty sure I wouldnt have pursued him so hard. Fact of the matter is, I still think there is another girl for him and he keeps leading on as if there isnt with me which is ridiculous. Im not sure why he thinks I want to be lead on ya know? And there are still things that bother me about him, theres never anything I can do to put him in a better mood, he doesnt open up very easily I have to dig and sometimes I dont want to dig, and there are others things Im not going to share because well because I dont feel like sharing it with the universe. Im debating texting him....yet again.....mostly because I cant decide if I need to talk to him to get closure (do I really want to feel the rejection of being left for another girl) and to see if I can get his real feelings out? But then again this could cause more damage and he could lead me on another stupid little game having me think he's more interested than he actually is. Ultimatley the weather man is more the type of person I would like to end up with I just wish he didnt live in another state. Not to mention he's fighting that fire in arizona right now and i wait in anticipation for his text every morning (he works the night shift) to know that he's safe. Not to mention had a dream I was pregnant with Z's kid and wanted it so badly to be the Weather Mans kid....I know it was just my dream, but as you know if youve been keeping up on the blog my dreams influence me a ton (which is how I got into the mess of talking to Z again). Well Im excited to see the weather man hopefully it will be soon, he's suppose to pass through town after he's done in arizona and im STOKED!!!!! there are 2 other guys.......creeper/2x4 and shorty. 2x4 is my creeper who had an "end the relationship" with me he still hangs around he's nice but Ive dated a guy exactly like him but worse he's 27 and stuck in his ways and I cant allow myself to date someone that would bring me down to nothing again and shorty is super nice, funny, has a lot of good qualities I would look for but.....he's short and I know thats me being ridiculous, but when your dad is 6'4" is 16 yr old brother will probably be taller than him and the weather man is 6'5" you realize you were spoiled and cant go back to short.....maybe I could but I care too much about the weather man at this point. Im anxiously awaiting his call today :)
Sorry for all the boy drama but I had to get it off my chest

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Shopping Spreeeeeeee!

Victoria's Secret has their semi-annual sale right now and its great, although I hate bra shopping and I did not find one this time. But I did get these :) 
The Red Bottle: Love Rocks 
Original Price: $22.00 
Price Paid: $5.50 
The White & Pink Lotion: Noir Love Me
Original Price: $20.00
Price Paid: 5.00 
Total Victoria's Secret Purchase- $11.20 
Almost all of Victoria's Secret Body Shop things were 75% off 

Now if you thought those were great deals just wait until you see what I purchased at Gap
Patterned Polyester Shirt by Gap size Medium
Original Price: $59.95
1st marked down price: $37.99
2nd marked down price: $27.99
Price Paid: $13.99
Black Cardigan size Small
Original Price: $64.95
1st marked down price: $34.99
2nd marked down price: $24.99
Price Paid: $12.49
Beige Cotton Summer Dress size 8
Original Price: $69.95
1st marked down price: $29.99
Price Paid: $14.99

Black Tank size Small 
Original Price: $59.95
1st marked down price: $29.99
2nd marked down price: $13.99
3rd marked down price: $10.97
Price Paid: $5.48
Total Gap purchase: $50.11
(Gap is having a sale that's 50% off the lowest ticketed price, so its like double if not triple savings there was a tank top I wanted that would've been $5, another cardigan and shirt for $10 if I feel like I have enough money I may go back, or even check out the other mall)
So yes, I do feel like I spent too much money however when I realize that I would've spent at least $44.00 at Victoria's Secret and a HUGE $255.00 at Gap is absolutely incredible! If I felt like doing math I would figure out what % I saved but I'm too lazy and can already see its a little more than 75% (i could be totally wrong) total INSANE SAVINGS!!!!! 

Monday, June 13, 2011

"I don't know if I can pull it off"

Hey all, so remember this post I posted a while back? Well I have accomplished 3 out of the 4 things ;) Something I've decided which I've know for a long time, but im rediscovering it lol. That styles/trends/fashion.....people always say "I dont know if i could pull it off?" which includes me i have said it countless times. But its all about your confidence level, whether or not you have enough "guts" or confidence to pull these things off. Who cares what other people think about you (yes i know its easier said then done), do what you want what makes you happy! Althoug I do understand when people may say this because they like it, but would not feel comfortable wearing something like that, whatever that is. Anyway Im proud to say that I have wore both the hat & glasses, and obviously have the feathers in my hair. I like that the feathers arent like every other persons feathers, theyre quail feathers instead, so not long, but I have 3 attatched to a strand of hair. It'll be the new thing ya? Oh and I decided I dont show pictures of myself very today Im going to.....but dont expect it super often.

Ha Ha I think I'm kind of funny! 
Oh and look at what I picked up today off of craigslist for $45 Oooooooooohhhhhhhh I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Zzzzzzzzzz's on my mind!

Hey all so I'm on vacation here in southern california and its fun.......however, most of my thoughts consist of 1) work 2) my future and 3) Z always Z huh?

I wanted/needed to go on a vacation to get my head cleared and de-stress.........but i feel that this vacation has done everything but that! I love my mom with all my heart I do, I couldnt have asked for a different mother, what I could ask for is one with a better sense of direction, and the same common sense as myself. Im finding myself more stressed out when driving in the car with her especially with a GPS then I find myself at work. So much for a vacation away from stress! Ultimately im not sure what I need to destress, probably a life other then work. All I ever do after work is sit around watch TV or.....sit around? Im not really sure I just know that I do nothing and it drives me INSANE, but I think thats how I unwind, yet im still constantly feeling stressed and feel like theres something weighing down on me. <maybe I need to start going to church more regularly> Anyway Ill try to enjoy the next 4 days I have off.....

My future.......I always think about my future, I think I've come to the conclusion that thats always going to be there. Although what will happen once i get to that future ive always dreamnt about?Do I start dreaming about becoming old and wrinkly??? EW no thanks!!!!! I need to learn how to live in the now, do what I want to do for me, when I want, on my terms. Its worth a shot!

and the notorious Z......I need to stop blog stalking you, damage why did you even tell me you have a blog? Your really good at writing I admire you for that, but if you could be more um direct or specific with your posts that would be awesome :) Also its been a while since I've texted you for multiple reasons a) I think I need to give you some space b) I dont want to come off as desperate, I dont think im desperate, I just want you and no one else (thats only half true I still want the weather man, but ill save him for another post.....maybe) c) I was being a dumb girl and wanted to see if you would text me first since I feel that im always texting you which in turn makes me turn to a & b to not be stupid......d) I probably need to distance myself well I know I do. I just have a hard time imagining that there are more guys besides the weather man and Z out there? Like obviously there are Berlin you've found 2 I just talk myself into thinking theyre the only 2, but I would make life a lot more simple if I didnt worry about MEN! <i am no longer interested in boys> So im going to be selfish and get frustrated at all of you for not leaving comments, mostly because this is a post I want your comments on.......I dont want your opinion on Z or the weather man, Ive already decided that weather man will text me when his phone is alive and well.....but Z on the other hand, I was going to wait till I got back into town to text him and see if I could go see him.....that was the original plan but since im a nazi <meaning crazy, insane, & ludicrous > Im debating texting him before I get back, just say hi see how he is because I really do care and I really want to see him. Maybe text him before I get back with the possibility of seeing him the day I get back before I go back to work? what do you think? I know im being a tad bit crazy <yes im aware thats an understatement> which is why im reining in the troops for some help here.
What are your thoughts? If you all obey me Ill give you an AMAZING post in the next few days on the crazy which is the boy I did not date <dated?> its a good stroy youll all get a laugh if youve ever played the dating game in this bubble we call Provo <my interpretation of dating hell> Ok youre right ill post it whether you give comments or not, but its late im going insane and cant sleep <how is my mother and brother sleeping with me typing?.....oops!>
To text or not to text that is the question?

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

"I don't know that love changes. People change. Circumstances change."

Watching a classic movie tonight.....The Notebook. How is this so amazing? I could watch it everyday all day (just like Father of the Bride). I know its just a movie, but I feel like no other movie portrays love to, in all its flaws, cracks, glory, and wonder. But this movie (or rather the book, but I never read it) shows it exactly how it is, how it should be, what I want my love to be like. There will be fights and quarrels, I always want to laugh at people who say they dont fight because in my mind its the fights that make your love stronger because you grow from them? I dunno just my inexperienced personal opinion.
Im at a loss for words tonight, and yet I wanted to write. Ryan Gosling is my #1 celebrity crush, and the funny thing about that is I always thought he was extremely attractive until I met Z and im pretty sure they could be twins haha! Not to mention the weather man kind of have some similarities. So I guess thats the ultimate dream guy in my mind! I really missed Z today probably because I watched the movie. Anytime I watch a movie with Ryan Gosling in it I think about him. Im pretty sure he doesnt know or read my blog, but if he does then he now knows his nickname because I believe I've told him that on a few occasions.
Anyway I'm doing alright tonight, dont feel like crying or being pissed. Just in my own mind of empty thoughts. Its never ending in their! Love this movie, for so many reasons not just because its a good movie.
Maybe I'm making these things up in my head and letting myself believe things. I love it though, when I fool myself that someones there who I care about soooo much! It makes everything else in life feel non-existent and unimportant. I love that feeling, I dont have to worry about work, school, church! All of the stupid little things that are weighing down on me.
I'll find him one day......I'm just crossing my fingers I already met him ;)

What for? Look at us, we're already fightin!      Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.       So what?     So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."