Friday, February 22, 2013

1950's Housewife

I watched Mona Lisa Smile last night (its on netflix instant play right now), I saw it way back when it came out, but haven't seen it since. As I sat there watching it I couldn't help but cringe at the "1950's housewife" mentality. It was almost sickening to me. There are these extremely educated woman going to college, but for what? To go home and be little housewives, slave over the stove to have dinner ready by 5, clean the same thing over and over again. It completely boggles my mind.

I live in 2013 so that mentality shouldn't affect me right? But I was raised and am LDS, I feel that 1950's housewife mentality is still alive and taught in "our" culture. I sat in young women's for 6 years being "taught" or rather told what to dream about for my future. For example we made keepsake containers to open when we got engaged, it had what  we wanted our dress to look like, our colors, flowers, a letter to our future husband, what we wanted in a husband, along with baby names. We had mutual activities about cooking, cleaning, and organization. So I grew up learning that being a stay at home mom and housewife was a prestigious role. I was told that is what I would want to do when I grew up. I cant remember one lesson or activity about going to college, or making a keepsake box about what kind of career I wanted to have. I feel like I was taught that having a career wasn't all that great.

It got me thinking and realizing though, I know have a child (who i love and adore) and cant make going to to work seem financially logical (childcare is a joke how much people charge). So I am a "stay at home mom" and "housewife", please dont take this the wrong way if you are either of those, but I absolutely hate that title. Not only do I hate the title I hate the idea of it. I all of a sudden feel like certain things are expected from me because I am at home all day. My poor husband...I find myself not cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, or anything else in spite of those expectations. Yet I know he expects them out of me now. The worst part about that is I do enjoy attempting to cook, organizing, and having a clean house, I just do not want to admit to myself this is what its come to. "Berlin you are a little housewife" aka a slave to being at someones beck and call, not exactly what I expected from myself.

With all of my ranting and raving, I still have the upmost respect for women who choose to be stay at home moms. I think at this time in my life it wasn't my first choice and thats why I am slightly bitter about it. I am glad I get to spend my time with my lil' monkey, I just wish I had more human interaction, more real conversations, knew what was happening in the world haha! I am also still trying to figure out how to manage my time, get sleep, and be motivated to do all of those housewife/homemaker type things because I want to, not because its expected of me. I think bottom line I'm a stubborn ass and dont like being told what to do and am feeling forced into this role. 
For all those stay at home moms out there, how do you stay sane? How do you make time for yourself? What is your outlet?  


  1. I TOTALLY understand this. I mean, I went to school, have my Bachelor's degree, and now I'm at home with my little boy while it's sitting in the corner. Sometimes it can bother me, but at least right now, I wouldn't trade the time with my kid. And I feel the same that because now that I'm home, I have to do all these other things. Do I do them? Eh. Sometimes. I hate feeling like I have to. When I do it, it's because I want to, or it's a way to show my appreciation that my husband is making the moolah. But I don't do it because he expects me to or because I HAVE to. And in the end, someone has to do it, and sometimes, that's me because I am logically, the one at home at that time.

    It's such a conflicting thing, huh?

    And I don't get much interaction either. But I'm catching up on alot of shows on Netflix...and you know I play World of Warcraft which is a SAD excuse of interaction, but it's some that I normally don't get cause Westley is asleep and I can't really leave cause of Rem's work schedule.

    You can always come over to my place or let me know when you want me to come visit you, we aren't that far, and in VERY similar situations. Besides, I am in dire need of a haircut since I haven't had one since July.

  2. I had so much to say, I made it into a blog post so I wouldn't clutter up your comments too much. You can read it here: Plus, I have lots of SAHM friends who I hope will add insight. Good luck! It gets better! And Congrats! Piper is beautiful!