Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Breasts Are A Scandal

I know I have always had strong opinions, but now that I am a wife, mother, etc. I have an entire new genre of things to have strong opinions about.
I have read so many other peoples opinions all other the internet. I have not come across a single persons opinion that is the same as mine.Very often I feel as if I am sitting on this middle ground area that no one ever goes to. At least they dont voice it, their either one way or the other....no inbetween. Maybe im looking in all the wrong places (I havent been on the hunt for it though). So I decided I am going to share my opinion. Before I do that I want to preface it. What I am sharing is my opinion, and only my opinion. They may (or rather will) come off very strong, however I am aware that everyone else has opinions and they are completely entitled to them. Whether they are the same or not I respect that.
Breastfeeding.....for those of you who dont know me, or who dont know, I am not breastfeeding. Nor did I attempt to breastfeed. When I found out I was pregnant I made the conscious decision not to breastfeed. Along with that decision I did do my research, I found information about how beneficial breastfeeding was, along with how formula fed babies are just as well off. My reasons for choosing not to breastfeed.
1) as natural as it is, I feel that FOR ME it would be unnatural. The thought of a baby sucking on my nipple makes me squirm a little. Bottom line I would not feel comfortable breastfeeding no matter how "natural" it is.
2) I am willing to admit that I am slightly selfish. TMI, but I am a 34 DD not exactly small boobs. So I did not want them to grow, then shrink, and therefore sag down to my knees. I do not want fake boobs...not my thing.
I dont have this laundry list of reason why I choose not to breastfed my reason are short, simple, and straight forward. None of my reasons were influenced by my husband either (i know women who do not breastfed because their husbands dont want them to) initially my husband suggested that i  breastfeed, but also respected my choice not to.
I respect women who choose to breastfeed for whatever reason. One of my really good friends breastfeeds her daughter and it doesnt bother me. With that being said there are a few main reasons why breastfeeding or rather the women who breastfeed bother me. They rant and rave about how our culture "looks down" upon breastfeeding in public. Some arguments are 1) that people "say" it is sexually pleasing to men to see that in public. Im sorry but I am not concerned that my husband (or any other man for that matter) is going to be ogling over a women breastfeeding her child in public, give men a little credit theyre adults and understand what breastfeeding is. (If he is, there is something not right there). 2) Women who say they are "sustaining a childs life" how arrogant and rude. I feed my child formula and I am still sustaining, raising my daughter, and helping her grow by feeding her formula.
3) I have never understood why women who breastfeed dont understand that they may be making someone else feel uncomfortable by "popping" their boob our in public (whether you are covered or not, I still know what you are doing). Again I know it is culturally acceptable in other areas of the world, but is not as acceptable here. So why put others (men, women, children, mothers, fathers, preachers, truck drivers, coffee shop owners, etc.) in an uncomfortable position. Just because it is your opinion that you should be able to breastfeed in public does not mean everyone around you will feel comfortable with you doing that. We respect you for choosing to breastfeed why cant you respect us when we tell you it makes us uncomfortable?
I think being able to breastfed your child is a wonderful and miraculous thing. I also dont think it is for everyone. No when I am over at my friends house and she breastfeeds her daughter without a cover, she is still respectful of me. Even if there is a "nip slip" I am not uncomfortable because I know her (and may or may not have motor boated her once or twice), but again I know her.
I was under the assumptions that breastfeeding was an intimate relationship with your child. So save that for people who are close to you (not your local grocer, coffee shop owner, or dog walker).

Again as strong as my opinions are and they may come off the wrong way i still respect anyone who chooses to breastfeed. Its just not for me and those who do "shove it in my face" I dont appreciate it. Those of you who dont "shove it in my face" I appreciate that.
That is all.


btw I usually dont proof read, sorry!

3 comments:

  1. Amen! I agree with you on alot of points. I just wish it was more comfortable with most people since it isn't something that should make people uncomfortable, but with how we are raised, it totally makes sense that people are. I never breastfed uncovered while I was out, and often moved to an area where it was okay. This wasn't really because I was scared of other people, but more because I wasn't comfortable with the idea of having someone watch something that to me, was very intimate. Eventually, when my kid would finally take a bottle, I would just do that when we were out. It's really not that big of a deal how your kid is fed, as long as they are being fed, right? Jeez!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry, but I have to say something about your point number 3. You never breastfed, so you don't know how it is. When you are out with Piper, do you feed her when she gets hungry? I'm sure you do. So, should it be ANY different if I'm nursing my baby and he gets hungry? NO. I should be able to discreetly feed my kid, just as you can yours. It should NOT make anyone uncomfortable. And sorry, but when I would feed my baby in public (usually with a cover) I was not thinking about others being uncomfortable, but about my baby being uncomfortable. Guess what, he's hungry, I feed him. Doesn't matter if I'm at the store or a restaurant. I'm not going to go out of my way to go hide somewhere to feed my kid. And you wouldn't either if you had nursed.

    Also, I really don't think that you have much say in this issue because you don't know how it is to breastfeed a baby.

    ReplyDelete
  3. unfortunately, breastfeeding is not linked with saggy breasts. pregnancy is. don't get your hopes up that you avoided that "problem" by choosing not to nurse.

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sagging-breasts/AN01995
    http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/breastfeeding-9/after-nursing

    it would seem that someone seriously misinformed you about formula feeding being as good as breastfeeding. it sucks how common that is, but here are several well-researched articles from authority sources.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2019919?dopt=Abstract
    http://www.lalecheleague.org/docs/cbi/outcomes_of_breastfeeding_jan_2013.pdf
    http://www.unicef.org/nutrition/index_breastfeeding.html
    http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/index.html
    http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/115/2/496.full

    in bullet points, formula fed babies:
    -are at a higher risk of SIDS
    -are at a higher risk of diabetes
    -have a higher incidence of ear infections, which can also delay speech development
    -are at a higher risk of diarrhea, high blood pressure, and other illnesses
    -are at a higher risk of childhood leukemia
    -are at a higher risk of obstructive sleep apnea

    lastly, my son doesn't tolerate a cover. i was uncomfortable seeing other women nurse before i had him, but then i did have him and fought to nurse him successfully. if you haven't nursed, then you cannot possibly understand the dynamics of a nursing relationship. that's like critiquing a marathon runner's food intake or stride without actually having run a marathon, or telling someone about paris when you've only looked at pictures and read about it online.

    i'm not about to make my son uncomfortable (read: scream and thrash) so someone else can be. i also am not going to leave the room always, because like you i'm a SAHM and i thrive on the adult interaction i have now, which is a fraction of what it was when i worked. sometimes nursing is "intimate", but more often than not it's just feeding a baby. my son's comfort and mine come first, always. it's not a selfish statement, it's realistic.

    how are we supposed to change the culture without fighting it?

    ReplyDelete